Do you feel like life is rushing past you? Do you feel like you are in a constant hurry or you always running behind? Rushing is more of a state of mind than a specific thing to manage like a calendar, an appointment, a specific line item task. This state of mind, this rush through things mentality...this has to transform; it cannot be checked off like a “to-do” list. So how does one transform the notion of always being in a hurry, always running late, or always feeling like there is so much to do and not enough time. Well the answer depends on your internal processing that creates this state of mind.
Are you someone who always has an excuse and doesn’t really seems to care about keeping scheduled appointments? Are you someone who gets annoyed when every little thing needs to be scheduled, do you say to yourself "Why can’t we just see what happens naturally? or "Let's just go with the flow" for the big plans in your life, but your life still feels completely out of control so you rush to manage the next crisis without any direction or plan.
Or are you someone who has every appointment on the books and you know where to be and when to be there and if this is canceled then you instantly fill the time with plan B, and once plan B is complete, you will swiftly move to your next very important pre-planned, pre-scheduled event, dinner date, hair appointment, friend outing or whatever.
Or maybe it is more energetic for you, a sensation of anxiety about “human doing” and all the things that you must accomplish to have a “good life” and you really don’t understand why you are still not there yet and you constantly feel like you need this, that or the next big thing in order to achieve "happiness."
Each person has to recognize their own behavior pattern to determine what is going on with their relationship with time and how they can come to terms with the inevitability of time limits. That is right, I said time limits. We all have a limited amount of time on this beautiful round spiraling ball we call Earth. Because of this, sometimes we get afraid that we won’t have enough time to have a "fulfilled life", so we refuse to schedule anything, or over schedule everything or just walk around wired about "doing all the things”
Well, if any of these relate to you, then that might be your starting point. Recognizing that part of yourself that is avoiding the present moment by rushing into the future to plan everything or refusing to plan everything is an essential part of transforming this energy. It often called being the witness. Once you recognize it (and it takes time and practice-you probably wont recognize while it is happening), you don’t actually try to change it; instead just sit with it, honor it, get to know how it operates against your dreams so that you can release the bind it has on you.
When I sit with things, I write about them. I write about how it makes me feel, why I do it, when I do it, how it doesn't serve me, how it used to serve me. I mean, it must have had it's purpose and benefits at one time, otherwise why would I do it in the first place. Maybe it worked way back when, but it just doesn't work anymore. I typically blame my child hood, my family, my obligations, for awhile and then come to terms with my current reality. But whatever it is I am going through, I go through the process with as little shame or guilt as possible (more on shame and guilt in another blog!). This process helps me weed through how I got here and where I need to go from here. I don't expect answers immediately, but I always believe that they will come. I trust in the process, in my heart and in my truth to help me find the answer.
So, I guess I am out of time right now and I cannot solve the dilemma of our limited existence, but I can tell you that slowing down purposefully will actually allow you to understand more about your relationship with time, your relationship with the limited, and may allow you to change the energy around your rushing tendencies. It called a paradox and I love a good paradox!
Some thoughts just need to get out of my head or they will be stuck in my mind forever.